Life in the eyes of a person who is losing it is like being reborn
I remember the day the doctors told me I had no chance of living through this demon who was trying to break me down
stage four breast cancer
bloom flowers on me I was buried alive
go home tell your family to prepare for your funeral
almost a year of chemo and radiation
as the poison flowed through my vein’s trying to dissolve the existence of this disease
my body became weak
my mind became weaker
my bones began to disintegrate
my life became grim
You see I longed to live to see my son a grown man happy and complete
but the darkness crept closer
I looked up to the heavens cried out to God if this is what’s called for me
I embrace it
but how could this be ?
how could I just get my heart’s desire and not be able to enjoy him?
I survived I beat it
now I’m blessed with life, my prince and my princess
three years from the date of my remission I’m told I have stage two cancer
I almost gave up how can this be ?
how could I have cancer for a second time?
I felt angel wings wrap around me and twist me into a breast cancer again
I strapped my gloves back on pulled out of remission
no longer am I retired
now I’m the champion of this fight
my babies need me I had to come back
the eye of the tiger
I’m more than a survivor
I’m walking through God’s art gallery
it’ amazing the creator enlighting me to create
the acid that flowed through me burned the wool off my eyes
like the blind man regaining his sight
so now the molehills are no longer mountains
I can overcome anything
You can burn my skin
take my breast
But you will never take my life.
Qué linda manita
Que Linda manita que tengo yo que linda manita Que dios me dio
Mi abuelita bella born in Hatillo Puerto Rico in a little village called Capez the oldest of her three siblings
Empire of her own palace she carried the strength of a million queens
Looking into her eyes you could see her struggles, her fragile hands clothed all of our bodies a seamstress from her young years
Maintained her own business all of Hatillo wore Rosario trends
12 hour days just to make sure her family would live a life without strain
Pile the work on her place the stress on her chest
She their personal pickup truck running over everything that stood in the way of progressing
1954 she decided to move to NYC for a better life for her family a single mom of two plus two plus three mi abuelita hours of threading would slice her pastry fingers for blood
She continued to work
Dollar bill toxins rewarded her minimal life bulged out her flesh was the beginning of the end of her fight
Affliction lurked through the sheets of her lungs leaving bed sores all over her skin
Tick tock tick tock
Told she had two weeks to live but the warrior in her was ready to give up
Tick tock tick tock
Malignancy began to eat away at her
Breast gone lung collapsed seeking life through an oxygen machine
Mi Gordo Lindo Ayúdame
Staring at my first born’s picture her hopes were high
Ayyyyyyyyyy Liana me duele
//// I cried ////
Por qué llorar voy a vivir mucho tiempo
voy a ver a mi gordo lindo crecer
voy a tirar le un peso fuera de la ventana para que él pueda comprar icecream
tick tock tick tock tick tock
Cancer made love to my wella slept with her through the night
Kissed her heart into ashes into dust into God’s arms
I remember the day’s we sat and watch novels the aroma of the sopa de salchichon flowing through the house I could still see you standing in the kitchen while pouring my soup into a bowl whistling a song.
I remember those days I was sick no matter what it was that I felt un sobo de alcholado with those beautiful hands and a story about Puerto Rico also made me feel better.
You see I drink my Bustelo black to remember those 12 hour shifts
at times I allow the family to place the stress on my chest to remind me that I carry more than the strength of a Queen
and while you rest in the arms of the Kings
I strap on the armor you left me I look at the strength in my hands and I can hear you sing to me Que linda manita que tengo yo que linda manita que dios me dio .
Habéis sufrido suficiente descansa mi abuelita Bella
©The Queen “Life” and “Qué linda manita”. All rights reserved.